I started going to raves and festivals in the summer of 2014 after my pledge sister convinced me to go with her. I was trying to be “20 and reckless,” so I thought this would be the perfect first step.
We went to Mad Decent Block Party together and I was instantly hooked. I was the type of person to only listen to hip-hop music, so trap was my gateway drug to all EDM.
20 and reckless I was; I started going to shows and doing drugs every weekend – if not, twice a week. I would make out with up to 5 random guys a night, and I didn’t give one single fuck. Raving was my escape from reality – why be shy and insecure Arielle, when I can get whatever guy I wanted whenever I wanted?
After I started dating this guy I really liked, I stopped hooking up with randos, but didn’t necessarily slow down on the raving. I eventually started to keep up with the DJ’s and went to shows solely for the music instead of just scamming on guys.
When I wasn’t sure if things were going anywhere with me and said guy, I began looking again for someone who might actually want to commit.
I don’t know what gave me the idea that a festival like Electric Daisy Carnival would be that place – but there he was. The last show of the first night of EDC New York 2015, at the main stage where Armin Van Buuren was playing.
This guy, let’s call him Kyle*, kept looking over at me. He made space in front of him, despite the packed crowd and I took this as a sign that he wanted to dance with me. So we started dancing, making small talk, and kissing.
But my friends had other plans for me. They had been scheming to get me with this tall, hot cuppa mocha, and my friends dragged me from one guy to the next.
“I’m already dancing with someone!” I shouted at them, and ran back to my first rave bae.
Yes, I’m even loyal to people who I just meet on the first night
Kyle was waiting for me too, wondering where I had gone, and then grabbed me as soon I was back in sight. I thought it was so romantic.
So we continued to dance, talk, and make out for the remainder of Armin’s set. My friend told me later that it wasn’t as cute as I pictured it in my head, and that she had to turn around so that she couldn’t see us eating face.
Anyway, I found out that this was his first time seeing Armin even though he’d been a fan for 8 years. He told me that I made this dream night better than he would have ever thought it would be. We even slow danced to “Imagine” by John Lennon at the end of the set, which Kyle told me I initiated.
He texted me all that week, told me he was stationed upstate in Saratoga Springs, but wanted to come down to the city to take me out on a date. I agreed, because he seemed like a really nice guy.
And even though I was still seeing someone, this date excited me. Maybe this could really be something.
After a lot of back and forth on what we were going to do on the weekend, we decided to walk the High Line and have dinner. I picked up him up at his hotel in the West Village, and for some reason (that reason is drugs), he looked so much different from what I remember.
So we walked and talked. We took pictures and sent them to his mom (this should have been the first sign that he was a little weird). And then made a reservation at this Japanese barbecue spot he’d seen on Anthony Bourdain’s show. But the wait time was an hour and a half so we had even more time to kill.
He ended up wanting to get hot dogs and we walked to Chelsea Piers. I’ve never had luck on long dates like these, so at this point I was just looking into the water and thinking about how much I actually missed the guy I was seeing. As if he could read my mind and just had the worst timing ever, he attempted to kiss me for the first time this night.
I let him kiss me for a second and pulled away immediately. I didn’t like it. It didn’t feel the same as EDC. Maybe it was the fact that I was sober this time, or maybe because I just really didn’t want to be there.
When we got back to the restaurant, he tried to kiss me a second time. I stopped him with my hand, which is really unlike me, because I really like kissing. “We’re in public,” was my excuse.
After dinner, we got ice cream and he held me close. I could feel his boner against my ass. That was my cue to just end the night already.
I walked him back to his hotel and we had a good night kiss. Definitely not a good kisser like I thought he was at EDC. He asked me if I wanted to come up with him.
Not even trying to be nice at this point, I literally just replied with “Nah, I’m good. I’ma go home.”
To be honest, the date wasn’t that memorable aside from it being super long and we did everything on a tourist checklist within 5 hours. I remember him asking me really weird, semi-creepy questions and also begging me to get him Adderall, but other than that – I’m glad I kind of blocked out this date because I did not enjoy myself at all.
This date actually traumatized me into taking a dating hiatus because I felt like I was hopeless and never going to find somebody decent.
I don’t know if it was the fact that I already had feelings for someone else, or if drugs really impaired my judgement the night of EDC, but I guess you can say I’m never dating someone I meet at a rave ever again.
*Name was changed